Happy Halloween!

its time for halloween again. exactly one year ago, i would be in Orlando doing my attachment, celebrating halloween with all the pomp and glamour in the Magic Kingdom's mickeys not so scary halloween party. now back here, nobody cares about halloween. Only the ang mohs in the american club, or some young teens who just wanna play dress up and gather for fun. time really flies... it doesnt seem anything like a year since the last halloween fireworks i saw, and being in disney.

Much to coincidence, today in jym it was video sunday. and the video 'letters to God' featured a part in the Give Kids the World village, which was exactly where i was on 31st october last year, helping out in some halloween party for the sick kids and their families there... brings back such memories at a nice timing.

Its the end of the month of october already... this october was super fast, which means that things were pretty routine - usually not a good thing.
Now i am left with just 11 days before army time... one more weekend, and a few days. Time is short, gotta make every second count.

"It would be a miracle"

Today was my final theory driving test. I somehow thought it was at 8pm, so i pushed the studying to the last minute, with most of it to be done in the morning and afternoon. I did study some earlier, but much less than planned. Then in the morning i went to check the schedule to confirm, and at the same time do some mock questions online.

To my horror, i found out that my test was actually at 11.45am, effectively taking away 8 hours of study time! I had only barely an hour left to study from the time i found out, and half the textbook was still unread. Furthermore, in doing the mock questions, i failed badly. I told myself, "wah GG for sure already la."

So i checked for the next available test slots, which turned out to be just next week! Sounds good to me, just cancel this one and book next week, giving me just nice amount of time to study. But then i decided, dont cancel it, just go, and use this round as a practice and see what kind of questions would come out.

the main thing i was worried about was that after the test, those slots may be quickly swiped up, leaving me to wait until december or beyond for the next test, when im already into the wild green yonder. So i prayed, "Lord, please save that slot for me. But if i would somehow pass this time, it would be a miracle, and great will be your glory!" And so i went for my test, without any anxiety... and i passed!

It might have been for what i prayed, that He brought the miracle i mentioned to pass. The questions that came were lots of common sense stuff, some repeat from basic theory, but a few tricky ones, those which the Lord then helped me through.
So, just keep praying and have faith - youll never know when God would bring about the miracle you ask for!

Lesson on Humanities

Countdown is at 25 days before i enter my next phase of life, and a new life altogether. Aint dreading army, but my main concern is that during this remaining time which just flies by at few actual days per seeming day, i must do all the things i hope to do; that i cant do once im in.

Now that work is out of the way, the whole time is free for me to do all the personal activities i want. The big obstacle is however, feeling lazy or forgetting to do them. How weak is the flesh, that it wont even do what my heart wants.

Anyways, I believe God is slowly revealing things and teaching me big lessons through my grandfather. He has moved in to stay with my family for about a month now, since it was decided he cant be staying alone in his little flat after my grandma passed away.

I was against the decision, but reluctantly cooperated. anyways there would also be a maid to take care of him. That meant that we would have to clear space in our already cramped house to make space for another 2 people. And lots of stuff went into my room.

Thats not the main problem. The issue is that I never liked him. In my perception, there is nothing good about him at all. He is grumpy, stubborn, antisocial, uneducated (not discriminating, but just makes him hard to connect with) unappreciative, negative, keeps complaining, sometimes demanding, and self-centred.

He doesnt seem to care about anyone. All he does is eat, sleep and go to the toilet. And once a day for a few minutes he would look at pictures in newspapers. He is hard of hearing, causing lots of problems like him shouting all the time cause he cant hear. Also slightly senile, losing sense of time and reasoning. sometimes hes just plain dumb. Plus many bad habits, which really causes everyone lots of headache.

I find it so hard to tolerate him, let alone love him. But i wonder, why am i fine taking care of other old folks with disabilities, but not him? probably cause he is staying in my house, taking up my comfort, affecting my life, and dirtying my house. Then i realise, actually im the one being selfish! I ought to have a little compassion on a helpless poor old man whom his 2 other children rejected taking him in, and who would live a miserable, suffering and deprived life if he continued staying alone. after all, he is also my grandfather, whether i like it or not.

Since i realised that, i have been very much tolerant and accommodating towards him, and dont let all his bad points affect me so much. Then, recently God brought a little light to him. for the first time, i saw him smile and heard him say ‘thank you’. he went for an operation and can now hear better. he also showed improvements in his bad habits.

Praise be to God, the best teacher of all, and Lord over all our circumstances!

Stranded in the middle

The job hunt is over. I have given up on finding one to last for these 36 days remaining before i lose my freedom. The last straw came when even an apparent successful interview for a part time restaurant job was in the end dismissed because it was too short a time to work. Never thought so, thus taking some time to rest and slack first, taking my time to find a job. Now the effects of my procrastination has come to bite me.
I am now stranded in the middle of my 2 months stretch of free time - having rested pretty much enough for a month, and having not enough time to do some work in the remaining month.

The good news is, i have now an extra 36 days of freedom! whooo...
The bad news is, after it all, i would have slacked/relaxed/been free for more than 2 months. and so far in the month passed, it has not been so productive; in fact boring at times. of course theres the loss of opportunity to also earn some money and gain some valuable work experience.

I have identified the cause lack of productivity during my free time at home to be lack of discipline... and its precisely because i am in the comforts of home, that i feel so at ease to do whatever i want - which happens to be not very productive activities. Looks like going on myself the hard way is the only way to ensure this time i bought will not be wasted away.

At the start of it, i had already committed this time to the Lord to guide me and open opportunities for me to spend this time meaningfully. Seeing the way all the jobs i tried for turned out so unfavourably towards me, i guess God has plan for me to just ... be free.
I await to see what God has in store for me during this time.... just hope it wont be the same as the month passed.