Emotional Imprisonment

it is a very common stereotype that women are emotional and men are cold, emotionless.

Though cant be sure since im not a girl, I believe that men experience the same amount of emotions as a woman does. However, much of it is brushed off or left unexpressed.  It is the culture that society through the generations imposed on us to be strong... the stronger sex... so that someone would still be standing when the women break down in an emotional event. It is ladylike for a woman to be emotional; for a guy, its uncool. 
Slowly, as we grow up, with this culture and expectations being ingrained, we grow a hardened shell around our heart, so that the emotions stay within and dont come out.

it is not that men are or really want to be emotionless. They are  afraid that their ourbursts of emotion would be met with spoken or unspoken responses of 'man up' or 'grow a pair'.

Update 5/3

Gosh, its already into march! Seems like just yesterday we were wishing each other happy new year and making new year resolutions. time flies when im having fun. but during this time that flew i dont think i had much fun. after all, its just been more of holiday-less school plus work in the same old IRD. for a month now, search for a desirable change of job has been unsuccessful. i have since decided to apply for transfer to Labrezza restaurant in a week or 2. 2 months ago i already wanted out, feeling sian before every shift. but somehow, the feeling is gone now and i dont really mind working anymore. but i know i shouldnt be staying in the same job for too long.

life didnt really get better from the down time of not too long ago. there has been ups and downs in between. but through them, i have learned to endure and live with it. I no longer see myself as iron-willed, yet i think im stronger than before. I wish to live in the hope that all this is part of God's plan to shape me for the better. Perhaps to face worse, which i dread but should not dread, however to lead to a much better life eventually.

whats coming up... adventure camp to kota tinggi which i would so wanna go but cant because the school stupidly arranged our midterm break just AFTER the march holidays. biannual mission trip which falls during school term. what ive been waiting for for so long just has to slip before my eyes now. sadness.