Out of sight, out of mind

Shagged, exhausted, I come before the Lord

Had been a long day, you could tell.

Drained of energy to read the word,

But a simple prayer to guilt dispel.

Exam time come, calls for mugging all day

Projects due soon, rushing on the report.

Free time at last, but i use it to play.

Just where, oh where is the time for God?

Lord, help me do my best in all I do

And may all i do bring glory to you.

Yet in course of life, striving for success,

May I not remember you any less.

Woeful Tradition

So its the start of the lunar seventh month again, and lots of people everywhere around singapore are still into their practices of hungry ghost festival.

I dont understand their motivation behind all this, and why they want to believe in such things. To people like me and some others, it is an unwelcome tradition which i find rather useless. nothing good about it, and lots of bad.

Burning stacks of hell notes, making food offerings, ligthing red candles, shadow puppet shows and halls set up for the purpose of this festival. whats the point behind all this?

Everywhere along the roads and paths, people are burning stacks of hell notes. sometimes in huge burners which is slightly more considerate, but others burn it on the pavement, or even on the grass. I chanced upon just now a gigantic pile of burnt ashes almost a metre tall (imagine the amount of paper that went into it!) which no longer burned but was still smoking, upon a grassy area beside a food centre. Whos gonna clear up all these ashes... they leave burn marks on the pavements and especially the grass which could stay until the next year when they do it again. The government should label this as vandalism. And so is the burning of their red candles which leave trails of red wax everywhere...
The worst part of it is the massive air pollution that results. smoke fills the air and a few hunded metres away i can smell the horrid burning incense and hell notes (which have a different smell from usual paper...) as if there wasnt enough global warming, or haze from indonesia.

Whats the point of burning so much hell notes? they are merely pieces of paper with pictures and words on them, hoping that they would somehow go into the nether world they believe in and become what it depicts there... as 'real' stuff. i may not know the tradition well or if theres really anything more to it, but im thinking, why does someone who is dead need so many houses, cars, handphones, money etc? they could just burn one per person and thats enough. hell is meant to be a place of suffering. and secondly, how would they determine who those notes go to? it just burns and goes to the underworld, for anyone to take? i would like to know their story.


I have also seen many food offerings. I have commonly seen small plates with joss sticks along the path side; i almost kicked over a plate of oranges and cakes beside the road while not looking. And there are bigger scale displays - at my school's fast food area today, i saw a KFC auntie laying out a whole tray of KFC food (burger, 2 packets of fries, 2 pc chicken, drinks, mash potato) and stuck joss sticks around them! And even bigger so, yesterday along the road in some open space, i chanced upon a long table with at least 10 seaters, all laid out with plates with food in it, like a big feast in a banquet! each seater had a packet drink with straw poked in for them... at the end of the table was an altar.
Isnt it exceedingly extravagant, or at least wasteful... Do they really think the ghosts that have no physical bodies would be hungry and can actually eat in the first place? They just leave all the good food (which could have well fed many people instead) out there to rot, and when the ants, rats and cockraoches have eaten them up, they feel satisfied that the 'ghosts' have had their meal... It is an eyesore, a sickening waste of food, turns into a rotting mess and which only invites pests.

So, at the whole point of it is that they feel the spirits are out in the open now to cause trouble for people. but i would say in actual fact, the spirits are out only because the people invited them. that is the case for most cases of spiritual activity... so they brought the trouble upon themselves, and they try to solve it as such. Does supernatural activity really increase during this period? i dont think so, its all in the mind, and all up to people's receptiveness to them.
Therfore set your mind on things above, not things from below.
there is no benefit entertaining even the thoughts about these unwanted entities, whatever there might be.

I am thankful that i dont need to be guilty of air pollution, wasting food, cowering in fear for a month, and missing out on all kinds of celebrations during the period. I remember 2 years ago, my birthday fell on the first day of the 7th month thing. i pity all those born in late august and participate in HGF.
Most of all, I am thankful that i know the God omnipotent who is master over all and in whom i can blot out all superstition and fear.

August times

I dont know whats wrong with blogger. The page always fail to load on my laptop, and occasionally fails on the desktop too. but when i ask others, they say its fine. must be the internet here.

So i didnt have the chance to blog in several days, not that much happened.
A hallmark event was on last friday though - it was the very last lesson for my entire course! everyone wasnt veery bothered about it and getting emo and stuff. they just treated it as a normal lesson, cant wait to go off for the friday evening as usual. well now its just a week more till the exams, and 3 weeks more till its disney time! To be exact, its 21 days.
as of now, i still feel really unperpared.

Last week i also celebrated my birthday. my birthdays have always been really quiet. no parties, no big gatherings or special activities to celebrate. But still, this year's could arguably be my 'best' birthday so far.
What makes a good birthday?
For most ppl, birthday is a time for others to remember and appreciate you, appreciating your birth in that sense. but what really makes a birthday good and memorable really depends on personal preferences and one big C word -contentment.
how ironic, i say my bd isnt so good cause its so quiet, with not many ppl to celebrate for me. ut yet if ppl ask me, i would say i dont want parties or alot of pomp and ceremony. haha
so i would say, its the thought that counts.
how is this thought assessed then?
if its based on results in terms of the extent of the celebrations, presents received, wishes, cards, treats etc, it could be inaccurate measure.
I happen to be born at a very bad time, when everyone is having tests and exams coming up. so many ppl dont have the time to celebrate for me, or think about what to get for me. i suppose some are also too caught up thinking about their work to remember my bd.
Though i received NO presents this year (maybe they are still coming, i dunno.)
I cant really describe why, but I can feel the warmth of my friends, the societies im in, much more than it was last year. And thus i believe, they really do appreciate me internally, more than they may show through material means. And that is what matters more.

Its just one week more till the exams. the final exams for my course. (its not very decisive like O levels though) adn the exam fervor has not gotten to me at all yet. im still slacking at a time like this, feeling really unproductive.
So many things to do, so little time. yet i do things that are less important first...
Its like as if, im just looking ahead at disney, and everything else on the way becomes blur and i dont care so much about them... i really hate this arrangement that i have to leave so soon after the end of the semester. big time spoiler, man.

On a lighter note, im glad im able to know of someone who is already there in Disneyworld now, doing the same internship program, even the same role (quick svc F&B). She was able to provide me a whole good deal of information about what its like over there, and it really helps me get prepared, physically and mentally. Thanks be to God.

Disney: the near future

the countdown stands at 32 days remaining before its time for me to leave.

thats about one whole month. my last presentation is finished! which also means the last of projects is done. i can really feel the slackness of this sem compared to the previous sem, which was a mad rush all the way from half of first term to the last week of school. now all is done and theres still a week of school left (in which theres not much to do), followed by the study week, and then the 2 exam weeks.

so whats left now is just studies for the final exams. as in really final. though not all decisive like O levels was. 19 days till my first paper, and 28 till the last. if i really spend all those time into studying, that would be more than enough. but i gotta get to work already, so as to make up for the time later, and hopefully i would still have some spare time before the exam ends,
because after my last paper, i only have 4 pathetic days left to enjoy myself before i fly off!

that really sucks. thats hardly any time to cool down and savour the life of Singapore while i still could, and spend time with my friends before i bid them farewell. surely, some of it has to spill into the exams period. and i gotta make up for that.

well at least i will be celebrating my birthday before i go off. only for this year i would say it comes at a good time, when all the busy-ness has gone down and hopefully could have something to celebrate. and then what lies ahead...

..............................

Anyways, yesterday was the second call for timeout home edition! it turns out, not much of a home edition for me. but it turns out it was even better than being at home, cause i did my time out in a 5-star hotel! cool huh.
cause at 9pm yesterday, i was all out at clarke quay for a family dinner. so the time came, and i left the table and all my relatives there (just finished eating) and slipped alone into the Merchant court hotel, intending to do it in the toilet. but i couldnt find the toilet, and instead i came to the lobby area where there was a lounge with sofa, dimly lit with candlelights and nobody else around - a perfect place to do the timeout!

so i sat on the sofa and crouched over in prayer. hotel guests were walking by a few metres away but i didnt bother. and then while i was praying, suddenly i heard a female voice saying "excuse me...", i looked up and saw a hotel staff. i thought, oh no,i think im not supposed to be here... and then she asked, "would you like a drink..?"
haha, she probably thought i was some lonely depressed guy going there to emo in the dark, and need a drink to go with it.

i didnt stay for the whole timeout. after about 15 mins, i heard that its time to go. so i went out back to the restaurant, and just as i reached there, everybody stood up to leave. wow, perfect timing! so that was my timeout experience. a great one, once again.

Poisson Poison?

Not long ago i witnessed the pond downstairs of my condo having its water changed. its water was all dirty and full of fish shit and greenish, so i thought its just a maintenance stunt. of course all of the koi fish in it had to be taken out. the pond was drained, filled with new clear water, and had a few baby fish in it.

but this went on for a few weeks, having just those few baby fish in it.

why is it taking so long for them to bring back those big koi fish?

a few days ago there appeared some new medium sized fish, but that was nothing compared to the usual amount and sizes of the fish.

then the truth was revealed unto me today, after the estate AGM.

All the hundred over koi fishes DIED!!

A shocking discovery i never knew. and i am really grieved at the massive loss of those fish.

i really liked them alot. they were like my pets to me. but unlike usual pet fish, they are not boring creatures that do not respond except to swim away when you go near. these large koi fish would even eat bread out of my hand, and i dont need to fear them biting me cause they have no teeth. they just suck at the food, and its quite ticklish.

they were also fun to play with. especially when hungry, they would swarm towards me, opening their mouths so beg for food. and when a piece of bread was thrown in the middle of the crowd of fish, a frenzy occurs as they all rush to get the morsel. continuously throw pieces into the same area and youll see all the fish saturated in one area, splashing around and jumping on top of each other. what a sight. the most fun part though, is putting pieces of food on the shallow rock, and watch the greedy kois climb onto the rock, even out of water, to attempt at getting the food.

The cause for the fishs' deaths have not been determined. it is noted that a new batch of fish were added into the pond with all the koi fish. shortly after, all the fish, old and new, died.

what could have been so serious that it causes all the fish to suddenly die? the most plausible theory is a potent disease carried by the new fish. but even so, why didnt those fish die before getting into the pond then, and why all at the same time?

anyways, i think it was kinda stupid to put those new fish in. the pond is already so crowded and had more than enough fish. put more for what. now see what happens, all gone.

hopefully the new young kois would grow up well and multiply and populate the pond once again. until then, i'll miss all my beloved koi fish.