Desperado!

desperado by the eagles (and subsequently copycats like westlife and emifujita)... one of the cheemest songs i know so far, with alot of analogies and hidden meanings. but when understood, is quite meaningful. just that its supposedly addressed to a specific person, and its meaningful only to people like that.

Original lyrics

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
You been out ridin fences for so long now
Oh, youre a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin you
Can hurt you somehow

Don you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
Shell beat you if shes able
You know the queen of heats is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you cant get

Desperado, oh, you aint gettin no younger
Your pain and your hunger, theyre drivin you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, thats just some people talkin
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Dont your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky wont snow and the sun wont shine
Its hard to tell the night time from the day
Youre loosin all your highs and lows

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin, but theres a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before its too late

My rephrased interpretation

Desperado, why don’t u come to ur senses? (addressed to a friend of the singer)
You’ve been remaining undecided for so long now. (about his choice of woman)

Oh youre hard to please
But I know you got your reasons.
These things that are pleasing you (the reasons he remains unattached)
Can hurt you somehow (or lead to bad results in the end)

Don’t you choose a woman who goes after wealth/glamour
She will make you suffer when the time comes (spend away all his $$?)
You know the best choice is always one who loves from her heart. (true love)

Now it seems to me there’s quite a lot of good women available to you
But you only want those whom youre impossible to be with.

Desperado, you arent young anymore
Your pain and your hunger, theyre drivin you home (don’t know whats this about)
And freedom, oh freedom well, thats just some people talkin (sth about the freedom of being unattached)
the price you pay is loneliness in life.

Dont your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky wont snow and the sun wont shine
Its hard to tell the night time from the day
Youre loosin all your highs and lows
Aint it funny how the feeling goes away? (whole thing talking about the effects of the loneliness)

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
Start considering seriously, and open yourself up (to love)
It may not seem very attractive to you now, but things are brighter on the other side.
You better find (your life partner) soon, before its too late.

World of suffering

it is very unusual of me to blog about biblical stuff, but i just felt like it today.
The topic of the JYM sermon yesterday somehow coincided with the topic done on during DG. not the book nor the situation, but the content. my DG did on the book of Job; the man who had everything taken away from him as a form of test by both God and Satan. and then theres shadrach, meshech and abednegro. both are examples of people staying faithful to God despite great trails, which were a test of their faith.

As i usually do during DG especially when im in the lead, i like to flush out every doubt in the DG material, even if that takes half an hour of debate. quite a lot of times i convinced my DG fellows that the answer for the given qns should be sth diffren from the model ans given at the bottom. perhaps its the author's fault... some are really unclear. but sometimes, the answers given by my fellows for open-ended qns also spark debate.

So anyway, the discussion that gave me a good deal of inspiration and enlightenment was about the sentence: "God will not make us go through trials that we cannot handle."
.this is backed up by the verse 1 Cor 10: 13
No temptation has seized you except what is known to man. And God is faithful, and will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear

i was saying, how is that so? there are people who are strong christians, having a solid relationship with God. Then one day, a great trial struck, lets say cancer, and then they die from it, or never recover. There are countless such cases where they couldnt 'handle' the trial.
So then we came to a conclusion that 'handling' the trial doesnt mean getting over it. but rather to be able to 'handle' it is when we stand strong in our faith to the end. actually this conclusion was gotten by reading the stated verse. it says tempted, not suffer. like if the cancer patient dies while still being close with God throughout, it is considered to be a victory, because he maintained his faith and did not give in to the temptation of blaming God or turning against Him. Just like the examples of Job, who still praised God no matter what Satan did to him, and the 3 men who did not bow to idols despite threats of the furnace. Even if they all died from it, they still successfully handled the trial.
Then again, i say there are many who were strong christians before, who do lose their faith as a result of the trial. what happened to that assurance? We also concluded that this assurance only applies to true christians, but this is not just a cheap way out of this apparent contradiction by saying "if that person doesnt handle it, he is not a true christian and therefore is not covered by the assurance."
So then came our final conclusion: God will always make an alternative way out for us. it is never a dead end where we have no choice but to give up. those christians who do lose their faith, true as they can be, do so because they did not take the alternative route and thought it was a dead end. The times when our faith is shaken most is when during a trial we just cant find a reason why its happening or the purpose for it.
Therefore... in face of trials, we must be on the lookout for the escape route. check under the carpet, between the cracks of the wall, in every single corner and nitty gritty place. God will make a way, just that we may not see it.
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Anyway, today i was in the bus on the way back home after school. my classmate was there too, taking the same bus. then halfway through the ride, this teenage couple came and sat in front of me (facing me.) one was quite pretty and had a very typical feminine appearance - long wavy brown hair, a white one-pc dress, earrings, lady's handbag and good complexion. the other had a very punk appearance - short hair but with long fringe, tight jeans and some fanciful sweater. just like that they looked rather incompatible alr.
Then the punk started to speak, and then to my horror i realised - she was a girl! yeah on closer examination she had no adam apple and had some breast. and they are confirm a couple cos they sat squeezed together they only occupied 1.5 seats. then the punk's arm was on the girl's shoulder, and at the corner of my eye i spotted her giving a kiss to the cheek. was a bit shocked for a moment. its the first time i ever came close to a lesbian couple and caught them in the act of PDA.
When i got off the bus i asked my classmate if she saw the lesbians. then she told me they were actually formerly from her sec sch class! St margs again. i have heard lesbian stories from another st margs girl b4. And very vivid details from another classmate from Cedar. So i guess it happens everywhere... MGS? RGS? SCGS? ACS? single sex schools, u name it. rumor has it that Maris Stella has an astounding gay rate of 10%! whats this world coming to... i just really hope those ppl arent christian. but be changed by becoming one.

I also saw today a guy from my poly - hanging out with a bunch of girls, wearing white hot-pants, black sleeveless top, a white shawl around his neck, and carrying a purple bag! cant imagine huh. theres still his way of movements i shant describe.

The Second Year

Its been a week since the start of yet another year of poly. another year of ups and downs of school life, the dreaded projects, the even more dreaded social politics, and this time, a screwed up time table.
now everyday ends the latest as is allowed. which is, 3 on wed, and 5 on all other days. and neither does it start very late. not because its full of lectures and tutorials, but because theres so many holes in between them; that is, breaktimes. perhaps when the projects come flowing in, those break times could come in handy and forces lazy groupmates to stay back to do project. but thats just for the rise-to-busy season. for the slack season like now, we r gonna be so sian. i dun even think we can watch a movie. and for the busy-peak season, its gonna make us lose precious time which could have been otherwise used if we were at home. basically, i hate waiting, and everyone does.

the trend of courses have changed. the cut off for DTRM has risen, while accountancy, banking & finance and business admin have all dropped. now from the usual 3 points apart, DTRM is tied with DBF at 11. and i cant figure why. i dont hear of any big banking boom coming in the future, while trm continues to show upcoming prospect such as the IRs, youth olympics, and new hotels. And now the newly introduced course Human resource with Psychology has topped the chart in SP's cutoffs this year. i guess they just want the psycho part and dun care the HR. anyway, cutoff points have dropped almost everywhere. last year it dropped, then this year yet again. i dun think ppl r really getting so much smarter... so it means O lvls are getting easier! yay, woe to the elites.

This year there is also a huge influx of chio-bu in the business school. This batch has at least twice the amount of chio bu as mine, or the year before's. again, i dont noe what caused such a surge. but if ppl tell me that the number of chio-bu in JCs have decreased, then maybe i get the answer. yeah, the rise of poly as The Place To Be! haha. This is especially to the delight of the bunch of guys in my class who have a hobby of people-watching during lunch hour when its crowded, looking out mainly for high quality babes or atrocious fashion sense. many times, these 2 go together. then when they spot one among the crowds, signals like "ehh look now, your 7 o clock, my 1 o clock, blue top, beside the pillar." would be suddenly given. naturally, i would be drawn in by curiousity and i will turn to look also, but being not attuned to such an activity, i take a long time to spot the target and it soon disappears. Well, those guys get really smitten by them. but for me i try not to go deeper than just having a treat to the eye.

For this semester, most of the modules are indeed more interesting, being into more specialisation instead of boring general business stuff. i would surely expect the syllabus and projects to be more in depth; which also means more dificult, and the tutors to have higher expectaion of us, since we had a whole year of relevant experince already. so we all realise we cant afford to be slack. though theres slightly less hours of lesson this sem, it would still add up to spending more hours on work altogether. from what i see, i think i would be less vulnerable to being victim of social politics this time. a bit more acceptance, and the newly agreed system of pair-balloting for group formations should make things better. but its still too early to say, for new unthought of problems may arise with the new system.

Away from school, our long house hunt have finally bore good fruit. we have found a nice place that we are quite keen of. though smaller and less accessible than here, its the best so far. nothing beats farrer court, but its time to say goodbye. good things come to an end. now its down to just a money issue, and if it goes all fine, that would bring our chore of house hunting to an end too. and of course, a new home to move into.

Dota Custom Heroes!

Im gonna do some for-fun activity involving putting together random dota hero abilities to form a new custom hero and try suggesting how to make the best out if it. should be fun.

using the heroes table (8 taverns with 12 heros each, except the light & dusk taverns) and a way of randomising numbers or positions (for me i use the ingame -roll function) i get a specific hero, then take its recpective ability for the custom hero.

So for example for my first try i got (6,11)(4,2)(3,2)(4,3)

this means the abilities are Frenzy (LR), Headshot (DS), Autofire (THD), rampage (TW)
i seriously got this combo out of pure luck. and they really go well together. i would certainly choose this hero if it were made.

Primary attribute: agility. its all about attack speed.
Ranged, cut down on intel. doesn need much.

usage of abilities: turn on frenzy and rampage, then whack the life out of the enemy, with headshot to boost firepower. its gonna hurt real bad. during that time it would be spitting out lots of fireballs and burning the whole place. good farming, but too bad fire doesnt stack. frenzy can be used for mass creep killing purposes.

item combos: buriza, mkb, butterfly, radiance for damage. basher for potential permastunning. bkb to prevent stun. diffusal to stop them running.

Next: Charge of darkness (SB), voodoo restoration (WD), unholy fervor (LR), remote mines (techies)

omg this ones really non matching. but with some creativity, its not totally hopeless.

PA: intelligence. would need mana more than AS/HP.

Short ranged, maybe 400. have a balance of attributes.

UoA: 1) pusher. use vr to heal ur creeps and destory enemy waves with remote mines. lots of mana here. charge and UF can work as escape mechanism should it be threatened. 2) 1 on 1 fighter. charge stun gives an advantage, and vr to keep healing urself. UF to chase if the enemy doesn fight. can also charge an enemy hero, plant a mine and detonate during stun.

ICs: for 1) euls scepter most suitable. (gives alot of mana + regen for pushing, some damage for combat, cyclone and extra speed for even better escaping. ) guinsoo, orchid, aghanims for mana/intel. linkens & bloodstone is also good. for 2) eye of skadi, orchid, shivas for better combat while providing needed mana.

Earthbind (geo), mana burn (NA), command aura (VS), global silence (silencer)

seems non matching, but they do have something in common - they are supportive abilites.

PA: agility. though not so fit to be an attacking hero, its not spellcasting enough to be intel.

ranged. just slightly more agility than intel

UoA: this hero should just play supportive. going with allies, help provide aura, net enemies and silence. mana burn just used for weakening enemy heros for better lane farming at early game, and maybe abit of help during battles. but alone, it can also have fairly decent hero killing potnetial using all its abilites. this hero can play aggro towards the enemy farming in its lane in the earlier parts of game using irriating manaburns and high dmg attacks, with net on standby for finishing off.

ICs: 1) supportive build, with the standard items like cuirass, mekansm, vladoffs. 2) extensive attack build which also includes cuirass. SnY and butterfly too. perhaps a vanguard cos its quite weak in defense.

Acid spray (Alc), enchant (encts), brawler (PB), life drain (pugna)

all 4 abilities cant go together, but there are a few ways where some can. on the whole, quite a good hero.

PA: strength. it seems to need alot of hp for frontline combat and tanking, and life drain would be good for a high hp hero.

melee, more str, balance of other 2.

UoA: 1) spray acid and tank creeps for farming, with help of brawler, and drain creep life for healing. 2) spray acid over a enemy hero to reduce armor, enchant him and then whack him up with help of brawler. if opposition gets too tough, the cowardly life drain is available. 3) enchant followed by life drain on a hero.

ICs: 1) battlefury, radiance and vanguard for tank-farming. for 2) SnY, MoM, cuirass, armlet, satanic. 3) BKB for uninterrupted life drain. HOT would be good for this hero anyhow.

Shadow strike (veno), astral imprisonment (OD), anchor smash (tide), sunder (soul)

potential ownage hero. but the astral is really out of place.

PA: agility. actually could be strength too. so balance str and agt, cut on intel.

melee, of course. its quite dumb to have anchorsmash for ranged hero.

UoA: quite clear cut - shadow strike then attack, with help of anchor. can deal with gangs using sunder. as for astral, during event of gang it can be used to disable one, fight the other, then perhaps if win within 4 secs, sunder the first one and claim a flawless victory! otherwise, just general disabling.

ICs: attack speed should be priority, but must have a subtantial defense and a balance of damage too. hyperstone, cuirass, diffusal, butterfly, SnY, lothars, battlefury and vanguard.

ok i could go on but ill stop at 5. for most of these combos, it seems really lousy when first looked at, but after thinking through, it isnt so bad after all, or better than thought. such is the beauty of this activity... when we look at the bright side of things. hah.