The Lord welcomes her

Just as i was settling in for a sumptuous picnic lunch with my prayerwalk team, an unexpecting phone call from my mom informed me that my grandmother had just passed away this morning.

I had no immediate reaction. I didnt know how to react. In fact, i just kept a straight face, continued eating, talking and playing. I didnt tell them so as not to spoil the happy mood. It all seems like nothing happened. But inside, i was feeling all morbid, and had the sentimental feeling i get when i realise that someone i know is gone forever. It was especially strong this time, since the person is not just a friend's relative, a parent's friend, a church member, or a distant relative. This time, it is my own grandmother, whom i have known all my life.

The news came as quite a shock to me, cause i just saw her on Saturday, when the grandparents are routinely fetched to my place and taken care of for the day. She still could walk, still could talk and eat. Though i could see she was really weak and suffering from the unknown huge throat lump, she was not in any apparent critical or life-threatening condition. I had expected her passing to come with a little more warning.

On saturday, after seeing her in her weak state and just imagining the suffering she must be going through with that huge lump in the throat - which caused her difficulty eating, talking and breathing; made worse by the phlegm that she had to constantly cough to clear, i thought that it would be better if my grandparents were taken home to the Lord without having to deteriorate slowly and suffer in the process.
I even made a post on my facebook wall saying, "I would rather the Lord take them suddenly, than to see them slowly deteriorate like this." it was referring to my grandparents. Of course i didnt go so far as to wish them dead. But a few days later, the Lord really took her.

Did God grant my request, or was it just His timing?

Perhaps this would be a good time to write a testimony for my grandmother.
My grandmother was probably born to a poor family. She was uneducated, and was a housewife ever since she married. my grandfather didnt earn much either, and they lived in meagre conditions during my dad's younger days too. By God's grace though, my dad managed to break out of the poverty.
I dont know when she became a christian - it might have been even after i was born.

She briefly took care of me when i was young. she would visit me quite often. But i was never close to her - main reason being that she spoke cantonese and extremely little english, while i spoke english and extremely little cantonese.
But i could see that she really adored her grandchildren - whenever i visited her, she would have snacks or yakult bought just for me and Joel. they were not leftovers. When they visited, she would also bring those stuff along to give me. Even when my parents visited them and i didnt, she would pass it to my parents to bring back. During chinese new year and birthdays, she would give big hongbaos.

But just recently about 3 years ago, the time came when she suddenly became senile. She forgot everything that happened in recent times, and couldnt even remember my name. she only knew i was someone related to her, and that i once was a small boy. therefore whenever she saw me, she would repeat over and over again what means "such a big kid already!" in cantonese. needless to say, there were no more snacks, gifts and hongbaos too.

both she and my grandfather deteriorated significantly over the past 3 years. some were so fast and sudden we were totally unprepared for what comes next. And finally came the mysterious lump, which is what i believe pushed her body beyond what it can bear.

But one thing i really admire in her, is that even after she became senile, God's name was always on her lips. at night, she would be sitting and staring into space, softly muttering prayers and thanksgiving and singing short phrases. She would repeat the same thing over and over again like a broken tape recorder. I believe it is to God's delight that this 'broken tape recorder' was stuck at this recording.

Throughout her years of suffering and being senile, she always remained so calm and peaceful, almost like she's in her own paradise. Everything we do for her, she would always thank us. Indeed she is a prime example of one having the peace of God which surpasses all understanding.

Now she has finally made it back to her true home. I am not sad, in fact i am happy for her. Her sufferings are over, her perfect form restored, and joy shall fill her days for eternity. Perhaps she can remember me again now, but she will be too busy rejoicing with God to spare a thought about Earth.