A new life

It is now the 4th day into the start of my new life - the life away from home and into the Disneyworld experience.

Prior to leaving, i thought i was ready. i did almost all i could, and there was nothing that i really wanted to do but didnt. definitely, i had underestimated the preparations needed. Reality had not dawned on me yet. It was only when at that historical moment that i entered the checkin area on my own and waved goodbye to my family, did the realisation come and the truth suddenly sank in so deep and awoke me from my delusion.

A new life has just begun. A whole new different life for the next 5 months.
Only then did i realise how mentanlly unprepared i was.
I'm on my own now.
I realise how dependant i was on my family and my friends back here.
the new life would be one of independence - meaning both freedom and vulnerability.
A life full of challenges and pitfalls.
Terrible nervousness set in, like never felt before.

I had been so busy focusing on savouring the old life as much as i could before leaving. Yes i prepared myself for leaving the old life. But i missed out the even bigger part of preparing myself for the new life.
perhaps things could have been better if there was proper amount of orientation programs or briefings back in SG before going. nor did we meet earlier on that day.
its like one moment im busy packing at home and all focused there, and then the next i find myself on the plane, into the new life, and no return till the end.
it was such a sudden transition. happened all so fast. its like i was suddenly pushed out into the open

I must say though that the torturously long flight time to get there served as a good time to think and do the mental preparations i lacked. It was like a good 29 hours of purgatory, neither in the old nor new life. at the end of it, i still didnt get into the spirit of the new life (until now i still havent) but i had gotten over the anxieties.
the song Daniel came to mind, and it brought back memories from the time when i first got confirmed into this program. the excitment, anticipation and fantasies i had of it, which has faded off by now.

Theres so much to say, but not the opportnities and the discpline as of now. Generally im fine. Not missing home too much, not suffering too much, not disliking anything too much. I have still yet to settle into this new life and place. Yes things go wrong, things may not be so pleasant, and i have already faced some problems and disappointments, but they do not have the lingering effect which is what would make my time a torture. I learn to take it in stride.
I can safely say that it would be an enriching, valuable once-in-a-lifetime experiential opportunity. but other than that, many things are still left in the dark, many uncertainties remain about what would be coming up next. From what has been revealed, they have been mostly very different from what i expected.

All the more, it leaves room open for God's guidance to go ahead of me, and His glory to be revealed.