Celebrations are supposed to be happy!

Well i wont know how happy the celebration will be as of now. But for now, the preparations for it sure arent. Here i am experiencing once again my 'birthday woes', wondering what might happen this year, trying not to expect anything but still hope for something... special, nice, extraordinary if possible. This time the feeling's stronger cause its my big 21!

Some say 21 is just another number, and that theres nothing special about turning 21. i could agree to that. but now theres a form of peer pressure in place as well, cause its a widely practiced practice that your 21st birthday should be a special day, even more special than other birthdays, to mark one's official entry into adulthood. while i dont really care about adulthood, i do care about celebrating. while some of my peers are throwing big 21st birthday parties, how could i leave mine blank?

now less than a month remains before the big day, and no plan is in place. there was one i had, but was promptly shot down within one discussion with my parents. After all their negativity and pouring cold water, i too lost interest in the whole idea, along with a chunk of hope. and now im left clueless. argh i really hate this feeling. celebrations are supposed to be happy!

There will be no elaborate party for me. no ballroom or hotel or booking a whole restaurant. that would already be too much for me. I just want something special... not so ordinary like what i would do for any other gathering or event, yet without too much hassle, preparations, and expenses. can nothing fit this deal?