Year End blues

in a few hours time, its gonna be the end of the year and the start of next year. and now is really the time to feel the year end blues. an extremely emo period or day, thinking of the next year coming and reflecting on the year past. first to backtrack a few days..

christmas time! this year's christmas was really like a shadow. i so didnt feel it at all. makes it seem like this christmas was a really lousy one, but in fact it was better than some of the previous ones, just that my standards and expectations has increased. i remember how i used to feel the 'festivity in the air' every december when i was young. i was excited and anticipating. now, the only thing that brought out the festivity was the decorations all around. i knew christmas was coming, but my heart wasnt prepared. and neither was it when it did come. i hardly got into the mood at all. there was mission trip christmas party, C@BV, jym christmas party, christmas service and gatherings, but nothing really so big and invoking of the christmas spirit. before i knew it, christmas was over. (by right its still christmas now, but everyone is out of the mood by now.) sometimes i see the decorations that are still up and the christmas tree in my living room, and it takes me a while before i suddenly realise, oh, christmas is over already! somewhere deep inside me thinks it still has not come yet!
oh how i hate shadow christmas. all thanks to all the stupid projects that totally spoils the mood for celebration. nevermind, im sure next year's will be much better!

SP just 'welcomed' its new principal this semester, and that smart guy is the one responsible for setting the start of the new term for all SP students on 28th dec! never before have i had a new school term starting just before the new year!! so in school it sometimes feel like the new year has come already. then i realise, its still 2008. especially when the lecturers say ' see you all next year!' ... seriously weird and confusing for my bio calendar. plus its also unusual for students to be so busy with school work at the end/start of the year. work really numbs the sense of time.

now before the new year comes, i shall think of my new year wishes, goals and resolutions. in general i just wish for another year of good growth. growth as in a really wide term. and i look forward to some of the things coming up in the next year... like the end of my poly studies and my attachment. thats a really big thing.
Situations have not been so good to me this year, but God certainly has. ironic? i dont think so.

i can now see that many people everywhere are having year end or new year parties. theres stuff going on at the function room, bbq pit, along and in the pool. lots of people gathering and enjoying themselves. just now there was 3 pretty little girls in pink, yellow and white princess dresses playing with the fish downstairs. not to forget the siloso countdown beach party or the one at marina that many of my classmates are going. wished i had such parties going on for me too. but i guess a nice drink and the watchnight service later would do for passing the year.