Silent pentitence

hurhurr. i didnt know this method could work so well. i now technically understand the passage about turning the other cheek and thus heaping burning coals on ur enemies.

on wed, there was an incident involving social politics and a sort of betrayal. the guilty party - one of my classmates, was confronted by half the class during break time; following her writing of an email to us to (unsuccessfully) vindicate herself the night before.

so we interrogated her and used her email as a basis of pointing out her loopholes, infrequencies and doubtful areas. of course under such pressure, she started to break down and cry, then we all went softer on her. in the end, she apologised BUT did not turn from her ways, so there is some soured relations now. anyway, this incident is not the one im talking about where i heaped coals. its another which branched out from this.

during the confrontation, that girl was saying that her voice was not heard among us. and another classmate, while trying to convince her otherwise, released the bomb. (no, not fart)
he said, "you dont know what its realy like to be not heard. Ok, u look at John. half the time, what he says is just crap. so honestly i just dont give a **** about what he says anymore. seriously, i just dont bother listening to his ideas and opinions. to pretend to be considering them is hypocrisy on my part. At least for u, ur comments have some substance, so even if ur ideas are not used, doesnt mean they are not heard. He is the example of really being not heard (turning to me) Sorry john, i am like that 1. i lay my cards out on the table. so now you know."

After hearing what he said, i was like very shocked, discouraged, depressed, and other indescribable feelings. he had been my project group leader for many projects, and only now i realise all my contributions were just noise to him. but i still managed to fake a smile and say "its ok." i guess the others around were more shocked than me because of how calmly i reacted to it. after that i told him in a friendly manner that i want a change of group leader, if not theres no point of me talking during discussion. he agreed to step down.

We went for a lecture and after that, he talked to me rather sheepishly. perhaps he was feeling guilty. we both spoke in a rather friendly tone
he: so who do u want as the new group leader?
me: actually any one of them will do.
he: just as long as its not me right?
me: duh, if not i might as well just shut up during discussion, right?
he: well actually even if im leader, u can still contribute... (haha, suddenly changed attitude)
me: no point wad. even if the other 3 listens, in the end the leader calls the shot.
he: ya u got a point. eh sorry for putting it so bluntly just now.
me: actually... i appreciate it. at least now i can save my breath. if not ah, i tot u listening but actually ur not. thx for ur honesty
he: ok.. (extending his hand) no hard feelings!
and yeah i shaked it.

Then today, during a tutorial, he actually asked me for my contributions, about my opinions on the ans for a qn (to be discused as a group). and he actually used it! haha, i felt like tellling in his face that he was a hypocrite. but i guess he really changed his attitude, for good. i shall wait and see. but im quite sure things would have been different if i had reacted negatively at that time. kindness begets kindness.